There have been occasions when I have found myself being compared, against social standards to which I do not in fact aspire. My lifestyle and indeed my life choices, have sometimes caused confusion. There have even been times when my differing priorities and even my principles, have caused a little consternation.
I am not therefore, a fully paid up member of our mainstream society and furthermore, I have no desire to be so. There is much that I see today, which alienates me. The benchmark by which I measure my own personal integrity and indeed my ambition, is not necessarily that shared by others.
We all have our own set of personal values, principles and perhaps even our own unique sense of ethics. This our world-view, our weltanschauung or our vision du monde, will define us as a human being. It will most importantly, define us a member of a supposed civilised society.
This brings us to a question that I have indeed addressed before. What are our personal standards and what are the benchmarks by which we are measured? For example; comprehensive school failed me and I did not shine academically. Although I enjoyed my junior school years, I absolutely hated my time at a state run comprehensive school.
I would later return to education, first gaining the equivalent of three ‘A’ Levels, before enrolling with the University of Nottingham and reading the Diploma of Nursing (equivalent to a foundation or first degree). Later I would add two post registration courses to that and today I can proudly state, I have more letters after my name than actually in it. I have become what I should have been and what my school failed to create, I have myself made.
We therefore, return to yet another series of questions and once again, I have asked these questions before. Is this success, what is success and do different people measure success differently to others? I think the answer to the first and third questions is yes. What is success is perhaps harder to define.
For some raising a family is all they have ever wanted and my nieces fall under that descriptive category, as they live for their families. They like many women, will frequently put the needs of their partners and their children, before their own. They are happy and surely that is a mark of success? To be happy is surely a good thing, is it not? In case you are wondering, the answer is still yes.
For others a career, a house, a car or an expensive holiday, are the aspirations that they strive to satisfy. There is nothing wrong with this but it is erroneous to assume that those desires are shared by all. Now my dear reader, you may be wondering where this is going. Particularly if you have read my blogs before. Much that I have so far written and some of what is to come, has been taken from my work published prior. Which naturally leads to an obvious question, why have I returned to this subject?
I am regarded as eccentric but how does one measure eccentricity? What are the benchmarks or the socially accepted criteria, being used to determine eccentricity? How does our society decide that someone is eccentric or perhaps bohemian. Are these labels merely used as an alternative, as opposed calling the individual weird or insane? What is madness? Who in our society is authorised to make these distinctions? Is it simply a matter that those of us who may exist, outside of the accepted norms of society; are being labelled or even mislabelled? Is it simply a fact that people do have differing social standards? Is this an ‘us and them’ scenario? It is a complex issue and not for the first time, I find myself asking questions for which I have no answer.
I remember when I was courting my ex-wife, her parents found my lifestyle quite peculiar. I rented and did not have a mortgage. A better financial situation for a (mature) student back then and today, I still rent. I did not have a car either and I still don’t, as I have never learnt to drive. These perceived abdications of social duty and the refusal to conform to the expectations of society in other ways, never endeared me to my future in-laws. I cannot deny that their prejudice put an irresistible strain upon our marriage.
The reasons for my return to this subject matter are the result of two events, both taking place earlier this year. In late May I was out for the day with a friend. We had pursued our usual activities, perusing second-hand book shops and a few antique shops. It was an enjoyable if tiring day out. I was dropped off at home and I unloaded my bags. When inside the house, I discovered I was missing my camera. I went outside to search the street, thinking I had failed to pick it up. It was nowhere to be found. My camera is not an expensive model but its replacement would sting, perhaps costing as much as four or five hundred pounds today. The camera is however, replaceable. What was not replaceable were the photographs I had taken that day. What I could not replace were the memories locked inside the camera and that concerned me far more than the inconvenience of mislaying the camera. The camera was however, found. I had left it in the car and the pictorial record of my memories were safe.
It is time spent with family and friends, together with the memories that may result, which are precious to me. Not a car or a house, not even my collection of pens and my private library. Obviously I derive pleasure from having pleasing objects in my home and the equally pleasing Edwardian décor. Yet it is my family and my friends, which trumps all things in my life.
As should be clear from statements made earlier in this blog, there is another principle upon which I place importance. This vital aspect of my own personal existence, is the worth I place upon my own intellect. This ability to think and to create unnecessarily over long essays such as this one, is an essential element of my own humanity.
This particular matter was brought to mind by a meme I found on Facebook. The meme listed the sixteen things that its creator would want his or family to perform, if they got dementia. I changed the meme to the one thing that I would want and that one thing is to be euthanised. This is no doubt very shocking but what matters to me is the quality of my existence. I value my intelligence, my ability to study, to write and to explore a panoply of subjects. If I was to be robbed of such by that dreadful disease, I would already be dead and to have ceased to be the person that I now am.
There is much to be said for daring to be different or daring to live a life that others fail to understand. However, being different for the sake of being so, is not necessarily desirable. It is surely far more desirable to be who we are because that is the reality. I choose to rent and not to have a car, accepting that both are beyond my means. I choose to drink but not to smoke. I choose to read but not to have a television. I choose to go to the theatre but not the cinema. I wear tweed but never denim. These are my choices and this is my life. These are my principles, my values and my ethics.
Daniel Bran Griffith - The Chattering Magpie 
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